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Robot Wars: Cheesy stop-motion goodness

in Lifestyle/Lifestyle Columns/Movies/Reviews by

It bothers me greatly that giant robot movies never gained much of anything in turns of prolificacy in the west. In the land of the rising sun, giant robots are often a subcategory of various forms of media, like video games focusing on mecha, or mecha anime. All we have in the west are a variety of occasionally good mech games, and a handful of movies focused on the city dwarfing machines. “Robot Wars” is one of these movies. “Robot Wars” is a story about a much-divided planet earth. Large swaths of land are inhospitable and gas scares in years prior have condensed people into three areas of power: The North Hemi, consisting of former North American territories; the Eastern Alliance, a similar confederation of oriental countries; and the “Centros,”  a loose faction of bandits who live in the wastes and survive by pillaging. The North Hemi is in an…

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All action in “Fate of the Furious”

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From the series inception in 2001, the ‘Fast and the Furious’ has become Universal’s greatest franchise. It delivered financially once again as the 8th film in the series generating the largest opening weekend earnings of all time with $532.5 million globally in the box office. “The Fate of the Furious” departs the story away from the Brian O’Conner (previously played by the late Paul Walker) while staying true to the action that made the series famous. Opening with Dom (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) honeymoon in Cuba, the movie quickly jumps into scenes of fast driving and aggressive action. Dom quickly defeats Raldo, a man seeking to repossess his cousin’s car, and chooses to give his current car to his cousin. This seeks to emphasize Dom’s commitment to “family” which is a topic repeatedly touched on in the previous films. Dom faces a huge obstacle when approached by Cipher…

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Belko Experiment: Not for the faint of heart – or anyone

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After seeing the trailer for, “The Belko Experiment” I was definitely expecting some dark and/or gory moments. The movie portrays a government office in the middle of nowhere, where the workers get too-good-to-be-true benefits, and they all have a “tracking device” in their head. However, nothing could have prepared me for the gore I witnessed. The film’s plot takes shape through a voice over the loudspeaker in their 80- person office building, telling the workers that if 30 of them aren’t dead within the next hour, 60 of them will be dead. The workers all laugh as if it’s a complete joke, until large, metal doors that are unbreakable come down over every window and door in the building, trapping the workers inside. At first, everyone besides a few believe that this has to be an elaborate hack or prank. That is – until the killing starts. The first death…

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Ghost in the Shell: factory recall recommended

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For a good number of people, the 1996 film “Ghost in the Shell” (GitS) is classic dystopic cyberpunk. A movie about investigating terror plots and internal political chess games in an age where you can ‘physically’ move on the internet; it can easily be said that it is a movie for those people who like their movies to have an intellectual meat to their fantasy. For fans of the series, there is only one real debate in the community that resurfaces: ‘Which is better, subtitles or the English voice dub. The reboot/remake/homage clip show that is “Ghost in the Shell” (2017) decided to attempt to bring both camps of the debate together. What results from this combination is just one example of a growing hypothesis that the movie development team had little to no idea what they were doing outside visuals. I am certain that, outside the actors’ costs, the…

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House of the Dead: Home to careers and more

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If you’re like me and spend more time indoors than taking in the (lack of) sun, you’ve likely been bored since the ball dropped to ring in the New Year. The Hollywood dump months have been held true to their fecal related name and have only released a handful of quality films to watch. John Wick’s return was stellar, while the new Rings movie made people recoil in horror for paying to see a bad movie. The way I see it, if I’m going to see a bad movie, it might as well cost only a dollar at the local pawn shop. Enter “The House of the Dead” and recoil in horror, for the movie may be low on price but not in schlock. John Wick’s return was stellar, while the new “Ring” movie made people recoil in horror for paying to see a bad movie. The way I see…

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Get Out: Expect the unexpected

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When I saw the trailer for Get Out, I was immediately intrigued, but ultimately, I came to the conclusion that it would likely be another cheap, typical horror flick. Two things changed my mind on this film: that its director is Jordan Peele of Key and Peele fame, and that it currently has an 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes by critics. Peele had never directed a movie before, but I’m a big fan of their show, so it made me excited to see what he could do in a movie. It’s also very rare to see a movie with so many unanimously good reviews, so I thought I’d go check it out. The premise of this movie shows a young black man, Chris (played by Daniel Kaluuya), and his white girlfriend, Rose (played by Allison Williams) and their trip back to Rose’s house for the weekend. Chris had been worried…

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John Wick Chapter 2: Bliss and bullets

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I periodically mention in these reviews of how tired I am of modern filmmaking and the products they output. A good majority of the films that will release this year are sequels or are a part of an established franchise, and it’s honestly becoming tiresome to just keep seeing series just going on seemingly perpetually. That being said, if future entries into the John Wick series are just as enjoyable as the first and this second film I will be discussing, then I will be willing to start an exceptions list. For those who are unfamiliar with the plot of John Wick, let me give you the backstory of John Wick’s character before the first film’s events. John Wick was an extremely successful assassin who managed to do something unheard of in his occupation: retire. John married a woman named Helen and lived happily with her until death from an…

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‘Split’: The tale of many, packed into one

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When I went into the theatre to view M. Night Shyamalan’s new film Split, I was very skeptical of how impressive this flick could be. It had a PG-13 rating tagged onto a movie that was supposedly a horror film, and Shyamalan’s movies had been largely unimpressive and disappointing to me after he released Unbreakable. I soon learned that a PG-13 rating was generous, and this movie certainly pushed the envelope. To my surprise, Split proved that Shyamalan is back, and in a big way. The film begins with three teenage girls, Claire, Marcia, and Casey, getting into a car after a birthday party, and they were to be driven home by Claire’s father. Suddenly, a strange man they didn’t recognize got into the driver’s seat. To my immediate shock and everyone else’s in the theatre, he aggressively sprayed the girls with a substance that immediately knocked them out, and…

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The Asian Connection: Bank robbery vs mob slobbery

in Lifestyle/Lifestyle Columns/Movies/Reviews by

For anyone who reads my bad movie review series, it is probably easy to figure out that most of the movies I have collected for my bad movie stack are fairly older films; some older than myself. It’s not a matter of preference, as I’ll take any bad movie I can get my hands on. The most common are horror and sci-fi movies with a four digit budget, but I have irregularly found more recent movies in my dives of pawn shop movie racks.  A decent amount of them are the kind you hate yourself for watching, like Tooth Fairy 2. Last week, I found The Asian Connection, and thankfully I don’t feel terrible for watching it. The Asian Connection (2016) stars a name you can’t help but love for mediocrity. Steven Seagal stars as Gan Sirankiri, a drug lord who is learning that a lieutenants of his is untrustworthy.…

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