The other day I read a St. Cloud Times article about an SCSU alum that created an Instagram account called ‘Bye Felipe’, which posts screen shots of rude messages that women have received from men on dating sites, social media, or elsewhere. This Instagram account was made in October, but it already has a quarter of a million followers. The SC Times article sought to show how men can easily become rude and aggressive to women once they have been rejected. It seems that men have large enough egos that even a simple and polite rejection from a woman can result in the firing back of a hurtful and obscene comment. Men seem to feel entitled that they should have women begging to date or have sex with them. They also don’t seem to know how to take a hint when a woman isn’t interested either, from the several Instagram posts that I read from the Bye Felipe account.
I was reminded of the offensive tactics of men towards women while watching the movie “Pitch Perfect” today. In a scene, a male character named Bumper shoos away his friend in order to talk to a female character named Amy. He then tells her that she is the grossest thing that he has ever seen on the planet. But then he says to her that he has a feeling that they should kiss. Of course this situation is a little reversed from what I saw on ‘Bye Felipe’, he insults her before trying to flirt with her, but I still think this is an example of how men think that they can treat women like garbage today. Men feel that it is okay to insult women and that they have the highest opinion on how a woman should look or act.
I saw another example of this misogyny this week in a trailer for an upcoming movie named “The Duff”. It’s a high school movie about an “unattractive, fat” girl who seeks help from a popular jock to appear “dateable”. It seems crazy that in 2014 there are still movies being made that say girls who don’t wear high heels and caked on makeup everyday are “ugly”. The actress who plays this “designated ugly fat friend” is in no way ugly or fat. This raises the expectations that men have for women even higher, if they are saying an actress like Mae Whitman is unattractive or “undateable”.
The hostility shown on ‘Bye Felipe’ is one cause of the gender violence performed by men. Men need to be taught at a young age that verbal and physical abuse of women is unacceptable, and it certainly shouldn’t be the expected method to snatch a romantic interest. A lot of the screenshot posts on ‘Bye Felipe’ show men describing women as only being sexual objects, that their only worth is their vagina. I can hardly imagine how their mothers, aunts, sisters, or grandmothers would feel if they saw what these men are sending to women online, in response to a rejection as simple as “No” or “not interested”.
Although you probably wouldn’t be able to guess based on the amount of attention they receive,