The Fifty Shades of Grey series has its premise on a billionaire businessman, Damien Grey, and his “special friend,” Anastasia Steele having a BDSM relationship with each other, which some back story about Grey’s past to make it more than just a sex novel. Make no mistake: the only “romance” in this novel is the fact that Grey is a billionaire.
If it was based in a trailer park, it would be a Criminal Minds episode. Come to think about it, there probably are a couple episodes with a similar premise.
The real effect of the Fifty Shades series is bringing rape culture out of the shadows, not to be discussed and condemned, but glorified. It is disgusting and morally reprehensible.
Relevant Magazine wrote an excellent article when the first Fifty Shades of Grey movie was released detailing all the stalking, abuse, coercion, and flat-out dehumanizing episodes in it. None of these are symptoms of a healthy relationship.
If you feel like you are involved in a relationship that incorporates even a shadow of one of those issues, I strongly recommend seeking counseling right away for advice.
A healthy relationship is based on trust, communication, respect, honesty, and other positive traits, none of which the Fifty Shades series has. Fifty Shades makes a full-fledged argument for, if not explicit endorsement of the removal of human agency and that women exist purely for the sexual gratification of men. Anyone with a mother, sister, girlfriend, or female friend has to have a gut-wrenching reaction at the sheer disgusting idea of that premise.
If you are trying to be romantic or spice up your relationship, making Fifty Shades your standard is not in your best interest. I don’t know what is, except that this isn’t it. You and your partner are better than Fifty Shades. Damien, taking away everything that makes Anastasia herself and everything unique about her, reduces her to a sex doll with a pulse and makes himself a puppet master.
Be better than that. Be supportive, loving, and affirming to your partner. Don’t buy into this mountain of crap that millions of people will see and undoubtedly some will be influenced by. I don’t believe in banning movies, but this certainly tempts me to make an exception. Don’t glorify rape culture by going to see it.